16 Nov Beyond Care: How a Counseling Psychology Doctorate Enhances Nanny Services for High-Profile Families – An Interview with Virginia Schwager

Interviewee: Virginia Schwager

Role: Infant Nanny | Ultra-High-Net-Worth Families

Bio:

I was immediately impressed by Virginia Schwager’s background and depth of expertise, particularly her Doctorate in Counseling Psychology. Her strong foundation in psychology is not something we often see in operational management candidates, and it brings a unique dimension to her work with UHNW families. When Virginia first approached me, she expressed a desire to shift her career towards operational management, drawing on her years of experience not only in childcare but in high-level project and people management.

What stood out was her philosophy and approach to coaching, which combines psychological insight with a deep commitment to holistic care. Her background in counseling allows her to support both the emotional and practical needs of children and families while fostering a positive environment for household staff. I could see right away that Virginia’s skill set was perfectly tailored for our UHNW clients, who often lead demanding lives and need someone who can manage their households with a nuanced understanding of both people and processes. Her ability to integrate her psychological training into her operational role is truly impressive and relevant for the elevated standards our clients expect.

Virginia’s journey into operational management represents an exciting blend of skills, and I’m thrilled to see how her unique background will elevate the residence management experience for the families she serves.

Role as a Director of Residence

Gold: With your extensive experience, what qualities make you a strong candidate for a Director of Residence role?

Virginia: With my background in both operational management and psychology, I’m confident in my ability to succeed in the Director of Residence role. I have experience creating organized systems and implementing Standard Operating Procedures (SOPs) that ensure smooth operations. By streamlining processes and fostering collaboration, I help maintain the high standards UHNW families expect. I also prioritize ensuring all staff are aligned with the family’s needs and working together seamlessly.

My Doctorate in Counseling Psychology helps me approach family dynamics with empathy and understanding. I bring a unique perspective to managing not only the emotional needs of the family but also supporting home office staff. I know how to build positive relationships and manage complex interpersonal dynamics, which helps create a harmonious environment for everyone.

In managing staff, I emphasize clear communication, conflict resolution, and team cohesion. By setting up structured systems and protocols, I ensure everyone knows their role and responsibilities. Leading with integrity, I aim to create an environment where staff feel valued and motivated. I’m committed to offering training and professional development that fosters emotional regulation, performance coaching, and effective collaboration.

I pride myself on being self-aware and continuously learning. I focus on helping staff grow by recognizing their strengths and offering constructive feedback. My experience with navigating steep learning curves and implementing practical operational strategies makes me confident in my ability to lead a home and family to success.

Gold: How do you approach setting up an organizational framework for a new household to ensure smooth and efficient operations?

Virginia: Through mentorship and research, I’ve come to understand that setting up an organizational framework for a new household involves several key steps to ensure smooth operations-

• Assess Family Needs and Existing Structure
  I’d begin by understanding the family’s routines, preferences, and goals. It’s also important to assess the current home office structure and processes. Identifying existing systems, gaps, or inefficiencies will help shape an effective framework moving forward.
• Define Staff Roles and Responsibilities
  I’d clearly define tasks and expectations for each staff member. Assigning specific roles ensures there’s no overlap and everyone knows their responsibilities, which helps with overall efficiency and clarity.
• Establish Communication Protocols
  Then, I’d set up regular communication channels, such as weekly check-ins or shared digital tools, to keep everyone informed and aligned. 
• Implement Standard Operating Procedures (SOPs)
  Next, create documented SOPs for essential household tasks, including cleaning, security, and maintenance. This standardization ensures tasks are carried out consistently and provides staff with a clear guide to follow.
• Create a Scheduling System
  I’d develop, or update, a flexible scheduling system that accommodates both regular and unforeseen tasks.
• Provide Staff Training and Development
  Continuous professional development for staff is essential. This includes training in key areas such as emotional regulation, communication, and teamwork to ensure everyone is equipped to perform at their best.
• Evaluate and Adjust the Framework
  Lastly, I’d regularly review the framework to ensure it’s working efficiently. Gather feedback from staff, monitor day-to-day operations, and make adjustments to improve systems or address emerging needs.

By thoughtfully integrating both the family’s needs and an assessment of the existing structure, you can create an organized, high-functioning household that supports the family and staff alike.

Gold: What advice would you give principals on establishing a productive, harmonious working environment with household staff?

Virginia: Creating a productive and harmonious environment with household staff really comes down to three main principles: transparency, appreciation, and kindness.

When everyone is on the same page, things run more smoothly. Transparency in communication, where you’re clear about expectations, changes, and the overall vision for the household, sets a solid foundation. It’s all about making sure that everyone feels informed and part of the bigger picture, which can improve collaboration and reduce misunderstandings​.

Then, there’s appreciation. A simple “thank you” or recognizing someone’s effort can make a huge difference. When staff feel seen and valued, they’re more likely to stay motivated and committed. Acknowledging their strengths and contributions helps build that trust and loyalty​.

Lastly, kindness goes a long way. Treating staff with respect and empathy builds a supportive environment where they feel safe and confident. It’s not just about managing tasks—it’s about creating a space where everyone can thrive, feel appreciated, and be part of the team​. This approach doesn’t just improve staff satisfaction, it leads to a more positive, efficient household overall.

Organizational Strategies

Gold: What are some key organizational tools or systems you rely on to ensure household operations run smoothly?

Virginia: To ensure smooth household operations, I rely on several key organizational tools:

1. Task Management: Platforms like Morgen, Google or Asana help organize tasks, assign responsibilities, and track progress, keeping everything on schedule​.
2. Scheduling: Google Calendar or Cozi manage family and staff schedules, ensuring real-time updates and avoiding conflicts.
3. Communication: Slack, WhatsApp or Microsoft Teams centralize communication, making it easy for the team to stay connected and share updates​.
4. Household Management: Apps like HomeRoutines, Sortly, or OurHome help manage chores, inventories, and shopping, ensuring nothing gets overlooked​.

These tools keep everything organized, streamlined, and ensure efficient household operations, reducing stress in a busy environment.

Performance and Team Coaching

Gold: How do you approach team development in a household setting, and what coaching techniques do you find most effective?

Virginia: Some coaching techniques I find particularly effective include strength-based coaching, which focuses on identifying and leveraging each staff member’s natural abilities, and solution-focused coaching, which helps the team shift focus from challenges to finding practical solutions. Additionally, I use active listening and reflective questioning to help staff members explore their own ideas and solutions to problems, rather than imposing my perspective. This encourages independence and confidence in decision-making.

I also make sure to encourage ongoing self-reflection and regularly check in with staff to gauge how they feel about their progress and the support they’re receiving. By making development a consistent part of the work culture, we ensure that everyone, from the principals to the support staff, feels empowered to contribute positively and grow within the household team.

These techniques are based on principles of emotional intelligence (or “EQ”), which are crucial for building strong relationships within a household setting. This fosters better interpersonal dynamics and enhances overall performance. Additionally, collaborative leadership and mutual accountability are key to ensuring that staff feels involved and supported in their professional journey.

Philosophy on Childcare

Gold: Can you describe your philosophy on childcare, particularly when working with infants and toddlers?

Virginia: When it comes to my childcare philosophy, especially for infants and toddlers, I take a balanced approach that’s grounded in Circle of Security Parenting principles and the core ideas of developmental psychology.

First and foremost, Circle of Security Parenting teaches us about the importance of being a reliable, emotionally available figure for young children. It’s about creating a secure base for them to explore from and a safe haven to come back to. This means being there for them emotionally, encouraging their curiosity, understanding their feelings, and supporting their budding independence.

Then, we have the wisdom of developmental psychology. Think about Erikson’s idea of building trust and autonomy, or Piaget’s focus on cognitive development through hands-on play and exploration. And of course, Bowlby’s attachment theory reminds us that those early bonds we form are crucial for emotional and social growth.

In practice, it all comes down to some key principles: maintaining a predictable routine to make them feel secure, using positive reinforcement to encourage adaptive behavior, being responsive to their needs to build trust, and making learning fun through play.

By blending these approaches, I aim to create a nurturing, stimulating, and supportive environment that not only addresses their immediate needs but also sets them up for a bright future.

Gold: How do you integrate family values into your caregiving approach, especially with children in high-profile families?

Virginia: Integrating family values into my caregiving approach, especially for high-profile families, involves several key steps:

• Open Communication: I start with an in-depth discussion to understand the family’s values, expectations, and traditions. This helps me align my caregiving, and leadership, with their principles.
• Consistency: I ensure stability by aligning routines and methods with the family’s values, whether it’s dietary preferences, manners, or specific hobbies.
• Respect and Confidentiality: Privacy is crucial. I handle all family matters with discretion and respect, building trust for open communication. 
• Cultural and Religious Practices: I incorporate cultural ceremonies, religious rituals, and daily practices into the child’s routine to help them connect with their heritage.
• Adaptability: I regularly check in with parents to stay aligned with their evolving values and needs, ensuring my care remains relevant and supportive.
• Character Development: I use everyday interactions to reinforce the family’s values, helping the child develop a strong moral foundation.

Gold:  What strategies do you use to support both the child’s development and the parents’ peace of mind in high-stakes environments?

Virginia: Supporting a child’s development and ensuring parents’ peace of mind in high-net-worth families with busy schedules begins with clear communication and a structured routine. I provide regular updates through progress reports, photos, and quick check-ins, so parents feel connected and reassured despite their demanding lifestyles. By establishing a predictable daily routine, I create a sense of security and stability for the child, which is vital in fast-paced environments. I also focus on developmentally appropriate activities that promote growth and foster a nurturing space where the child feels safe to express their emotions.

Safety, flexibility, and attunement are always top priorities. I adhere to strict safety protocols and remain adaptable to last-minute changes, ensuring that the child’s care remains seamless. Key elements include:

• Strict Safety Protocols: Ensuring the child’s environment is safe at all times.
• Adaptability: Remaining flexible to accommodate any last-minute changes in schedule or care requirements.
• Parental Involvement: Encouraging joint activities and sharing insights to foster collaboration and strengthen the family dynamic.
• Ongoing Professional Development: Committing to continuous learning to provide the highest standard of care.

These strategies help give busy parents the confidence and peace of mind that their child is in capable, expert hands.

Gold: How does your background in psychology influence the way you interact with children and their families?

Virginia: My background in psychology, particularly my Doctorate in Counseling Psychology, profoundly influences the way I interact with children and their families. Throughout my education, I supported myself by nannying, which allowed me to directly apply my academic knowledge to real-world childcare situations. Working in diverse settings like private practice, community mental health centers, hospitals, and clinics enriched my understanding of human development and behavior. This experience helps me to easily shift perspectives, seeing the world through both the child’s and the parents’ eyes.

Combining psychological principles with nannying over the years has made me more compassionate, direct, and hopeful. I use this knowledge to create a nurturing and supportive environment, understanding each child’s unique needs and fostering their emotional, social, and cognitive development. My psychological training also helps me communicate effectively with parents, staff, and with others who support the family. Through integration, I offer insights and support that enhance their parenting experience. In essence, I provide holistic care that promotes the well-being of both the child and the family.

Working with UHNW Clients and Busy Schedules

Gold: Working with UHNW families often involves unique demands. What are some strategies you employ to manage complex schedules and high expectations?

Virginia: Working with UHNW families involves managing complex schedules and high expectations, and I do this by focusing heavily on process management. I utilize digital tools and customized systems to streamline scheduling, keeping track of every appointment, event, and task (and the staff coverage to accomplish these needs) to ensure nothing is overlooked. I break down larger responsibilities into smaller, manageable tasks, prioritizing based on urgency and importance, which allows me to stay organized and efficient even in fast-paced environments.

I also build in flexibility within these processes. Understanding that schedules can change at a moment’s notice, I create buffer times and backup plans to accommodate last-minute shifts. Regular communication with the family ensures we’re always aligned, so I can adapt swiftly without missing a beat. By managing these processes efficiently, I ensure that all expectations are met seamlessly, giving parents peace of mind that everything is taken care of.

Gold: How do you approach collaborating with other household staff members to ensure smooth day-to-day operations?

Virginia: Collaboration with other household staff members is key to ensuring smooth day-to-day operations, and I approach this with a focus on systems, organization, and balanced leadership. I establish clear processes and structures, such as shared calendars and detailed task lists, that keep everyone informed and on track. These systems help us stay organized and ensure that responsibilities are clear, reducing the likelihood of miscommunication or overlapping duties.

As a leader, I empower each staff member by defining roles and encouraging proactive communication. Regular check-ins allow me to adjust plans as needed, keeping everything aligned with the family’s needs. By fostering organization and efficiency, I ensure a seamless, well-coordinated operation.

Gold: What do you find most rewarding about working with UHNW families, and what are some of the challenges you face?

Virginia: What I find most rewarding about working with UHNW families is forming high-functioning care teams and watching the children, and family unit, flourish in a nurturing environment. Seeing their growth is incredibly fulfilling, and knowing that my care and attention are contributing to their well-being and future success is priceless.

However, there are challenges that come with this work. Managing the high expectations of UHNW families can be demanding, and balancing everything while maintaining professional boundaries can be tricky. The fast-paced schedules require constant flexibility, and creating efficient operational systems is both challenging and rewarding. Despite these hurdles, the ultimate reward of seeing the family thrive and knowing I’m part of their development makes it all worthwhile.

Operational Excellence and Staff Training

Gold: Could you share some of the Standard Operating Procedures (SOPs) you’ve found essential for a well-functioning childcare team?

Virginia: When establishing Standard Operating Procedures (SOPs) in a childcare environment, particularly in UHNW households, I focus on creating streamlined, adaptable systems that ensure consistency and meet the high standards expected by both the families and the team.

One of the foundational SOPs I implement involves resource management. This ensures that the childcare team is adequately staffed, with contingency plans for on-call shifts, ensuring there’s always coverage. Clear job architectures, competitive compensation packages, and defined opportunities for professional growth, are key components to retaining top-tier professionals, while also ensuring staff satisfaction through benefits that promote long-term retention.

In addition to logistical aspects, SOPs should address organizational protocols such as communication and teamwork. For example, maintaining an efficient process for information sharing (inter- and intra-departmentally), including updates on child development, daily schedules, and any special needs or requests from the family. Ensuring that these processes are easy to follow and regularly updated will keep everyone on the same page. This can be achieved through centralized digital tools or shared platforms for team collaboration​. Regular review and maintenance of these SOPs is also crucial, as it allows adjustments to be made in response to evolving family dynamics or changes in the child’s development​.

By approaching SOP creation with a focus on clarity, accessibility, and regular updates, I ensure that both the care team and the family benefit from efficient, well-structured support.

Gold: In your experience, what types of training and ongoing development do you recommend for childcare staff?

Virginia: In my experience, ongoing training and professional development are vital for ensuring childcare staff are prepared to meet the complex needs of UHNW families. A well-rounded training program should encompass several key areas to ensure staff are not only skilled caregivers but also emotionally intelligent, adaptable, and responsive to the child’s needs.

• Emotion Regulation and Attunement Training: First and foremost, caregivers should receive training in managing their own emotions, especially in high-pressure environments, and in emotionally attuning to the child. This helps staff respond empathetically to a child’s emotional cues, providing the stability and security necessary for healthy development​.
• Performance Coaching: Regular performance coaching allows staff to receive feedback and set personal and professional development goals. This is essential for helping them refine their caregiving techniques and address any challenges in real time. Clear performance expectations and ongoing support create an environment where staff feel confident in their roles​.
• Child Development Training: Caregivers should have a strong understanding of child development to ensure they provide age-appropriate care. Training on developmental milestones, cognitive growth, and emotional regulation helps staff recognize and address any developmental concerns early on​.
• Cultural Sensitivity and Diversity Training: UHNW families often come from diverse cultural backgrounds, and staff should be trained to respect and align with different family values. Cultural sensitivity training ensures that caregivers offer care that is inclusive, respectful, and tailored to each child’s unique background​.
• First Aid and Crisis Management: Basic medical training, including first aid and CPR, is essential for ensuring a child’s safety in case of emergencies. Staff should also be trained in basic crisis management, helping them to handle unexpected situations calmly and effectively​.
• Communication Skills: Effective communication is crucial, especially in high-expectation environments. Staff should be trained in active listening, conflict resolution, and clear communication with both children and parents, which helps foster trust and ensures smooth day-to-day interactions​. This also extends to interdepartmental communication. In households with multiple staff members, clear communication across roles is essential for smooth operations. Shared platforms for updates and regular check-ins ensure that everyone, from house managers to security staff, is aligned on the family’s needs. By maintaining open communication channels, the team can collaborate effectively, share insights, and ensure that the child’s needs are consistently met. This seamless collaboration creates a supportive environment for both staff and family​.

By providing this comprehensive training, childcare staff are better equipped to handle the demands of UHNW families and support children’s development in a safe, nurturing, and responsive environment. Continuous professional development ensures staff can adapt to the evolving needs of both the family and the child.

Gold: How do you promote a culture of continuous improvement among staff to maintain high standards?

Virginia: To promote a culture of continuous improvement and maintain high standards, I focus on ensuring that staff feel valued and empowered. I regularly encourage self-assessments and provide constructive feedback, helping staff identify both their strengths and areas for growth. This allows them to take ownership of their professional development and continue honing their skills. I also prioritize recognizing and appreciating their hard work, whether through verbal praise or tangible incentives. When staff feel appreciated, they are motivated to maintain high standards and invest in their growth.

As a leader, I lead with integrity, setting the example by maintaining transparency, honesty, and ethical practices. This builds trust and encourages staff to mirror these values in their own work, fostering a culture of accountability. When staff see that I uphold the same high standards I expect from them, it strengthens the foundation for continuous improvement. By creating an environment of trust and respect, staff are empowered to thrive, delivering the highest level of care to the children and family.

Decision-Making

Gold: How do you approach high-level decision-making, especially when balancing the needs of the family with operational demands?

Virginia: When balancing family needs and operational tasks, it’s important to be aware of the family’s dynamics and the staff’s capabilities. I focus on clarity of priorities—understanding what the family values most, as well as the operational goals that must be met. Decisions should be made with empathy, keeping in mind how changes will influence staff morale, schedules, and work-life balance.

Additionally, I rely on data-driven decision-making, particularly when evaluating operational efficiency. By tracking metrics like staff performance, household routines, and family feedback, I can make decisions that are not just reactive, but proactive. This approach helps balance long-term goals with immediate needs, ensuring both operational success and family satisfaction.

Given the dynamic nature of high-net-worth family environments, it’s important to have a system in place for revisiting and adjusting decisions when necessary. This adaptability, along with a transparent decision-making process, helps keep things running smoothly while maintaining harmony between the family’s needs and operational goals.

Vision and Long-Term Planning

Gold: How do you keep track of household trends and best practices, and how do you implement these insights to improve operations?

Virginia: To keep track of household trends and best practices, I stay updated by reading industry publications, attending relevant webinars, and networking with peers. This helps me spot new tools or trends that could benefit operations. I also assess current systems to identify areas that need improvement and see where new practices could fit in.

When I find something useful, I pilot it on a small scale to see how it works in practice, gathering feedback from the team to make sure it’s effective. Finally, I regularly check in with the staff for feedback, ensuring the changes are actually making a difference. This approach helps me stay current while making improvements that truly enhance daily operations.